There was a point during tonight's episode of "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills," where all the Housewives sat looking at each other, their faces frozen from fear, not Botox. Kyle Richards was on a rampage against her new target, Brandi Glanville (Camille Grammer having been elevated to "Like" status). And no Housewife dared to step in and stop the madness, lest they end up on the shite list. Kyle really does run that mother, doesn't she?
Lame Game night continued and it was hardly joyous. Kim Richards, who very often appears not to have the sense God gave a pigeon, sits in the corner and calls Brandi "pathetic," among other niceties. It's funny how during this episode, Kim was all too ready to have her sister's back, yet last season, when she legitimately could have squashed that whole nonsense between Kyle and Camille Grammer, she lawyered up and said she didn't want to get involved. And she certainly didn't jump to Kyle's defense during the dinner party from hell. Just another in a long line of Housewives who've "found their voice," and have no idea of how or when to use it.
Kyle, meanwhile, can't let go of Brandi's son peeing on the lawn and corrals a terrified Camille to her side. "Would you not say [something]?!" she demands of Camille. A meek and submissive Camille agrees she would and Kyle's assault goes full tilt as she hurls insult after insult at Brandi, "trashy" and "classless" being perhaps the nicest. Ah, but Brandi gave as good as she got, labeling Kyle a "bitch." Well done.
Some might say the lowest blow came when Brandi called Kim a meth addict. Low? Absolutely. However, Kyle's indignation about Brandi's son and his wayward pee-pee bordered on disturbing. Nobody got that mad when Giggy slurped out of the $10,000 champagne glass. By now, Brandi's in tears, upset that Kyle would bring her children into this nonsense. "You insulted my sister," was Kyle's rationale. Because the two have so much to do with each other. Rule No. 1 of Housewifedom (besides avoiding dinner parties) never, EVER, go after the kids. Off-limits. And then some.
As Kyle continued to fly around the room on Brandi's crutch, cackling with delight, the other Housewives (except Kim, who wagged her finger in Brandi's face, threatening to poke her with it) sat idly by, too scared
to do the right thing and stop Kyle's reign of terror. At the 11th hour, Taylor Armstrong leaps up with her signature "enough!" line and sends everyone back to their corner. Kyle actually starts to look embarrassed, but our gal Kim wants to keep the fun times going.
Mercifully, a fork is put into game night as Brandi decides to hobble home. Except she can't because Kim hid her crutches. Dana Wilkey, the social-climbing, name-dropping, non-hostess offers to help Brandi to her car, but not before she gets her digs in about how she shouldn't have called Kim a meth addict and should discipline her son better. Can we maroon Dana on an island somewhere?
Everyone begins to migrate to the front door and Dana thinks they should all go away on a vacation as part of Kim's "journey." She just can't get off of that one. Camille thinks Dana's "desperate" to fit in with the Housewives and as Kyle's leaving, she tells her "friend in her head" that they're "together forever." Kyle had no idea what she was talking about, but honestly, she should probably be scared.
Adrienne Maloof, who ducked out of the Game Night debacle, visits with Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump, where she gets the lowdown. Brandi had already filled Adrienne in, but Kyle spun the whole travesty as being Brandi's fault. Adrienne wasn't upset about the peeing on the lawn (and it was her lawn) and correctly guesses that Kyle and Kim probably pushed Brandi's buttons and that perhaps one Miss Richards is in denial about another Miss Richard's problems. Brit Lisa was mostly flabbergasted to learn that her beloved Winston Churchill is now a great Black leader.
Taylor and Brandi meet for lunch. Well, Brandi ate a salad and French Fries while Taylor sipped a coffee. Taylor has released Kim from the grip of Oklahoma and tells Brandi you can set your watch by Kim being an erratic crazy pants. Brandi concedes she crossed a few lines, but maintains her stance that Kim is onsomething. Taylor suggests Brandi may have to fall on her crutch and do some apologizing, starting with Kyle.
The fact that for a week, Kim was pumping room spray into her mouth thinking it was breath spray, doesn't do a whole lot to dispel that sense and pigeon myth. The Richards sisters are headed to the Palm Desert house - the one Kim accused Kyle of stealing. The 99 cent version is that the house was to be divided evenly between the three sisters and Kyle bought her sisters out. Except Kim wanted back in and got shut out. Kim and Kyle try to tiptoe their way through the wreckage of their relationship, but it's hard for them to move past all the hurts and accusations. Well, maybe they can bring Dana on their safe journey.
Lisa's wedding planner. Oh dear. A delightful hybrid of Zang Toi (see "Real Housewives of New York City" Season Two) Tim Gunn and a kabuki artist run amok, wedding planner Kevin Lee is determined to bring Pandora's wedding up to Beverly Hills standards. That means if Lisa wants her daughter to get married in a church instead of the backyard, they can just build one on the tennis courts. He's aghast to discover there's a budget. This is Beverly Hills, where "budget" is a six letter word.
Camille's hosting a charity luncheon for cancer and everyone but Kim's in the house. Brandi's not running scared and teeters in on her crutches, head held high. Of course they're all at the same table, but Kyle refuses to say one word to Brandi. Lisa makes a half-hearted attempt to draw Brandi into the conversation, but overall, Brandi remains persona non grata.
We end the night with Adrienne and Kim taking a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood. Adrienne wants to know how Kim's doing, especially with Kyle. Kim will try to forgive, but will never forget.
Next time, Pandora has a party, Kyle warns Brandi and Adrienne washes a chicken.
More From This Contributor:
'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Get Raw
'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' Set it Off
'The Real Housewives of New York City' Don't Play Nice
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